So as I experience this journey, which so far seems to be going swimmingly, here are some tips I’d like to pass down for anyone who might be gearing up for the friend-dad role.1. Expressing enthusiasm for the kiddo’s hobbies will enlighten you.
Make sure you provide the new teenager with as much space as he needs. Kids are some of the greatest bull shit detectors there are! Often, as adults, we think we cannot learn from children.
Intuitively you want to be there to guide the youth in his life, but he needs to be able to come to you when he feels it’s necessary. Children are not stupid and your authenticity will win the hearts of everyone anyway. However, participating in their world is the gateway to bonding in both worlds.5. What mom wouldn’t love to have you include their offspring in activities?
If you try to encroach his space it will certainly end badly as kids can sometimes put up walls, or create distance, which keeps them from bonding with you.2. Kids can pick up on negativity, and really…why be with someone if you cannot give the best you have to offer? I always include the love of my life’s son because a.) I enjoy his company, and b.) I don’t want mom to feel like her son isn’t welcome—when in fact he is welcome.6.
I kept everything on each site exactly the same — my age, body shape, occupation, interests — except on POF, I clicked that I have children. In fact, POF gives you several options for this category, including the option of saying you would rather whether or not you have children (which — hint, hint — is kind of a dead giveaway that you do).
But just like a formulaic movie plot, they all wanted kids. Age had something do with it: I was in my early 30s. And I would very nicely tell them they were dating the wrong woman, extricate myself, and move on. Two different, otherwise wonderful, handsome, and brilliant men said they "understood" after I opened up about my fears.
Children (especially young children) quickly can become attached to someone new and, consequently, may be confused or hurt if the relationship ends.
If your date wants you to meet her son right away, suggest that she introduce you as a friend.
Go ice skating, take a day hike, visit the zoo or attend a sporting event.
Activities such as those offer low-pressure ways of becoming acquainted with each other.